No one is going to argue that planning for retirement isn’t serious business. Making a will, creating an estate plan, keeping up with Medicare deadlines, deciding when to take Social Security, or weighing whether a reverse mortgage can help you achieve a better retirement should give anybody over the age of 60 a lot to think about. It’s time to put those weighty decisions behind you and take a look at these retirement quotes and sayings to add to a card, gift, or just for your enjoyment.
Funny Retirement Quotes
1. Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife, honey, I’m home… for good!
2. Retirement is just a never-ending vacation.
3. Think about retirement as being two six-month holidays per year.
4. The best part about retirement is that you don’t have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing.
5. Now Fridays aren’t the best day of the week anymore… they all are!
6. When is a retiree’s bedtime? About 30 minutes after they fall asleep on the couch.
7. I never reveal my age, but I do let people know I’m retired. They can just guess my age from that statement.
8. How do you know it’s time to retire? It’s when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it!
9. I love being a grandparent in retirement. I give my grandkids a lot of sugar and then leave them with their parents to deal with them.
10. Why don’t retirees mind being called seniors? Because the term comes with a 10% discount.
11. Why do retirees smile all the time? Because they can’t hear a word you are saying!
12. I wish I could reveal my age, but I just can’t. It keeps changing all the time.
13. Just when the wife thinks they got rid of their kids for living in the house, the husband decides to retire.
14. During your work life you pick up a lot of bad habits… like working.
15. The world’s longest coffee break is often referred to as retirement.
Inspirational Retirement Quotes
1. The best part about retirement is spending time with the grandkids.
2. Retirement is the only time in your life when time no longer equals money.
3. Retire from your job, but never retire your mind.
4. My best days in retirement are when I give back to the community.
5. You don’t stop laughing when you age, you age when you stop laughing.
6. Age is just a number, but retirement is one of the greatest gifts to mankind.
7. Retirement isn’t the end of the road, but just a turn in the road.
8. Retirement is a time to enjoy the things you never could before.
9. There really are two lives we live. The first life and then the second life when we realize we only have one life.
10. You have to put off being young until you can retire.
Retirement Wishes for Card
1. The best part about being retired is never having to request time off. Congratulations!
2. Wishing you the best retirement ever! Enjoy the new chapter of your life and enjoy being your own boss.
3. Congrats on being so tired that you had to retire.
4. Enjoy your new weekends which will last 7 days!
5. Enjoy being the master of absolutely nothing.
6. Say goodbye to tension and hello to your pension.
7. Enjoy working at living, rather than living at work.
8. Enjoy your new vacation that never ends!
9. Go make the most of your days and enjoy your retirement
10. I’m pretty jealous of you, but needless to say, I’m happy for your retirement
11. Wishing you a happy retirement!
12. We wish you the best retirement possible.
13. It’s time to work on your golf game, enjoy retirement!
14. Hope you enjoy your retirement!
15. We envy you, but are excited for you!
Happy Retirement Wishes from Company
1. It’s been great working with you. Here’s to a well-deserved and happy retirement.
2. All the best wishes on your early retirement!
3. Just think, you’ll never have to sit in on another conference call. Enjoy your retirement!
4. It’s sad to say goodbye, but great to see you are on your way to greener pastures.
5. You are a true friend and an incredibly hard worker. Thank you for your years at this company.
6. You will be deeply missed. Thank you for everything you did.
7. Welcome to your new found freedom in retirement!
8. Enjoy being the boss of your retirement!
9. We hope your retirement is filled with love, laughter, and joy.
10. You’ve worked your entire career for this very moment… enjoy retirement!
11. You will always be remembered for your hard work throughout the years. Thank you for your dedication to the team. Enjoy your retirement!
12. Congratulations on your retirement! While the money isn’t better in retirement, the hours sure are.
13. We wish you the best time off possible.
14. Congratulations on being able to never have to call in sick again.
15. Best of luck with your new retirement!